How to find peace in a house with too many people?

Growing up in large families or with too many house members is not as easy as it may look to outsiders. Constant communications, guests/ disturbances, and extensive human interaction can sometimes become overwhelming, even to an extent where it can get annoying.

Human beings are social animals, have always relied on cooperation, and moved in groups, so on most days, one may feel grateful for the consistent support of the family/house members, but, on many other days, it can get extremely disturbing. Guests, friends, and relatives coming over to the house are a time of fun, but for people living with 9–10 house members, it is tiring. I mean, Come on! it can’t be a party at one’s house each day, not all of us are Gatsby. In India, the norm of living in joint families is casual, and it adds substantial value. However, if there’s no space for every member, it may impact negatively influencing mental health.

As impossible as it may sound, the easiest solution to find peace in such scenarios is moving out. But, if that’s not an option, here are few ways which might be of little help-

Find your space-

Be it your room, a corner in your living room, or even a small arena on your rooftop. Make certain part of the house yours, and look after it well. Remember, freedom always comes with responsibility. Do you want privacy and freedom in your room? Ensure its cleanliness and maintain it well. Acquiring space becomes crucial where one has to forgo the luxury of having a separate room or where one has to share space with other people. Yes, some of you might believe in the idea of keeping your space in your way, probably thinking, “why do I need to keep it as per someone else’s wish!”, you’re right. But, neatness doesn’t harm anyone, and it only reflects your sincerity and the ability to take responsibility. Also, I’m majorly addressing those who value the space and don’t want it to be taken away. Those who lack the confidence to talk about a lack of space in their own house.

Scheduling-

People having lived most of their lives with large families suggests scheduling or prioritizing activities as a competent tool to maintain peace in a crowded house. If everyone is watching TV at 7, don’t plan your work meeting at that time. Remember, like you, other members must be wishing to pursue the activities they love. Staying awake till late for tasks such as studies, reading, or other work that requires concentration is a good option one can opt for. Thorough details of each member’s daily tasks must be observed before forming one’s schedule. Weekly, monthly, or daily discussions and bifurcation of activities will make Scheduling an effective tool.

Keep yourself busy: Stay Out-

One proven way not to get affected by external disruptions is focusing on oneself. Choose work, self-improvement goals, studies, or hobbies over other things. Human mind needs something to focus on, thoughts to ponder, you can decide whether that is for yourself or the environment around you. Choose activities and opt to do them outside the house if possible. If you’re a student, this part will be easy, go to your college, public libraries, or study centers, but if you’re someone working or doing jobs such as freelancing, you should explore the options that will facilitate you to carry forward the activities other than your house.

Respect and follow the rules of the house-

One fair deal (in a setting with a high possibility of disturbance) is following the rules set by the majority and sticking to the discipline maintained. Do you want to invite a friend over? Make sure you inform other house members in advance so that they can plan their movements accordingly. Respecting plans and schedules, making a house bulletin board, or prior notices are some measures to not disturb or get disturbed by the house members. Also, if not essential, do not entertain frequent gatherings of friends or relatives. Remember they aren’t living your life and that everything you do sets the tone of the house. If you decide to go against the rule, don’t be surprised if you find your little sibling throwing a party in your room without your permission.

Stay calm and enjoy the company-

I know things get difficult sometimes, especially since the corona pandemic broke out. Many of us are stuck at places where we don’t want to be and aren’t able to do anything about it. Living with too many house members becomes strenuous, but, if you focus on the good parts, recall the good memories, and feel grateful for always having someone to lean on, life will seem easy. Nothing in this world can take place of the people you have lived with, be it family or mere strangers who became family. Your house members will always be a huge part of your life and years from now, all the time you have spent together with them will become a faint memory, make it a happy one.

Stay calm, talk to each other and cooperate well. So many people in this world feel lost after living alone, and here you have your army of people for you. Spend quality time with them, don’t indulge in useless arguments, plan engaging activities to maintain a healthy bond with each other.

Oh! And give a prep talk to each other in times of need — That’s what a family is for.